I’ve been feeling stuck and down for a while now. A couple of years ago I was powering on – writing stuff, hosting a podcast, publishing books – but then I had a run of misfortune that left me in hospital and out of work.
I thought I was just unlucky, but as I looked around I noticed that I wasn’t the only one having a hard time. Every day another friend seemed to lose their job, become ill, or face a challenging setback. Every day another person who could do with some help, encouragement, or support.
So I wanted to collect and curate little things that can offer a moment of respite, or a change in perspective, or a coping strategy, during those dark days. Something that can remind us that we’re not alone, that all is not lost, and that the sun is always shining above the clouds.
This is the first Ideas that Help email. A weekly-ish buffet of tasty morsels of hope, sunshine, inspiration and help that might get you through the day – or the next five minutes.
Let me know what you think, and if you can share any things that help you, send them to me at chris@chrisbrock.co.uk and I may just put them in a future edition of the newsletter.
Some RAIN that might help:
While the sound of rain can be therapeutic, there is another kind of rain that can help manage difficult emotions. This practice was introduced to me by meditation expert Tara Brach, and is a helpful way to process feelings that we’re struggling with:
R: Recognise the emotion
A: Allow it to be there
I: Investigate what might be triggering it
N: Nurture it with self compassion.
I often find that once I’ve been through the four stages, the emotion has receeded, if just a little. Find out more about RAIN here.
An activity that might help
A therapist told me that you can’t think your way out of a bad state of mind – you have to go and do something different. For a lot of people that means walking. And when I say “people” I include Bjork, who said:
“Just go for a walk for an hour and come back and see how you feel then.”
And also the writer and stoic Ryan Holiday, who said:
“I’m not saying going for a walk will solve all your problems, I’m just saying there’s no problem that’s going to be made worse by going for a walk.”
Walking has all kinds of benefits, from releasing endorphins, to improving our cardiovascular health, and simply the benefits of being outside. In fact, walking is so good for us, doctors are even prescribing it.
Some quotes that might help
“You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world and after you walk through those doors... you'll only really ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love. And don't ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.” – Jim Carey
This quote was shared by my friend, Janine, and it got me thinking about something similar from Abraham Maslow (of “hierarchy of needs” fame):
“In any given moment we have two options; to step forward into growth or to step backward into safety.”
And finally, this in turn got me thinking about another quote (yes, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole) from movie director, Jean-Luc Godard:
“He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.”
Here is your sign, if you needed it, to step forward into love, and to take that leap.
A journaling technique that might help:
Journaling can be a useful tool for calming the mind and gaining clarity. It’s something I’ve done for years, and I thoroughly recommend it. There are all sorts of different approaches to journaling. Some people choose gratitude, some go for Julia Cameron’s “morning pages”, and others (like me) mix it up to try and keep it fresh.
This technique, sent to me by Berenice and recommended by everyone's favourite hunky neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, is backed up by science:
Write about something that’s bothering you, something you are dreaming about at night or something affecting your life that you don’t like
Write truthfully for 15-30 minutes undisturbed, including facts related to the experience, how you feel about it, and anything connected that comes to mind.
Repeat the exercise for 4 consecutive days
Give yourself time to decompress afterwards, as this might tap into negative experiences
I tried this personally for a couple of days but found it a bit too raw. Others, however, swear by it as a way of getting messy things out of their heads and untangling them.
A mantra that might help
This was suggested to me by my friend Lizzie Bonito, who created it to help her remain calm and grounded. I know lots of people use mantras, in place of affirmations, to help them keep going. One person in particular – an ultrarunner – uses them to keep going during particularly challenging long-distance races. Here’s Lizzie’s:
You are safe,
You are loved,
Nothing bad is going to happen.
What would your mantra be?
An Instagram post that might help:
This post, from Evan Ashley, might offer some sense of direction when you don’t know which way to turn:
That’s all for now. I really hope that this has been useful and has given you something to think about, at least for a moment. If you have any ideas that might help which you would like to see in a future email just drop me a line. Feel free to share this with others, and I hope you have a peaceful and happy weekend.
Best wishes,
Chris